Ramblings of the Unimportant Lines
by Writer Awakened
Summary: The two paddles from Pong ramble on semiincoherently! Hear their views on female pixels, painting, and playing the accordion! This is the true story of what happens when the ball goes away for a day...


_Ramblings of the Unimportant Lines_

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The paddles in Pong contemplate their existence…R&R please! Thanks!

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The land was quiet. Not a boop or a blip or a bleep to be heard. The ball was missing; probably out on a night on the town with its drinking buddies. Now, only the two paddles were left. Two lines. The right one was a brash, independent thinker who liked to play the accordion, paint, and talk to pretty-looking pixels on the street and invite them back to his house for pie and cookies. The left paddle was a stern, uptight line with a tendency to bark at people. He was commanding and dominant, and had a tendency to hide his feelings deep inside him. However, he had a heart of gold.

"…Pretty quiet today." The right paddle said. "Guess on days like this we have to make our own fun."

"Yeah. I guess it's a good a time as any to try out my new joke."

"You?" the right paddle said. "You never joke around. Fine, let's hear it!"

"Okay." The left paddle said. "Who are you?"

"Um…I'm Right P. Paddle."

"You're right!" the left paddle said, laughing.

"Um…"

"Get it? You're 'right'? BWAHAHAHA!" Left laughed uncontrollably.

"Okay. That was as stale as that bagel I had this morning." Right replied.

"Don't insult me!" Left barked. "I worked hard on that joke! You never respect me for who I am! I'm only a line! I'm not Superpixel!

"Hey, hey!" Don't be angry!" Right said. "It's just, you're not so great at jokes. That's all! It's doesn't reflect necessarily on your…personality. Say, do you want to hear my playing the accordion?"

Left sighed. "Fine."

A pixel appeared next to Right, and a dainty polka of blips and bloops filled the air.

"For the love of the Programmer, stop that!" Left said. "You're going to make my vectors bleed!"

"Ha ha…okay, sorry!" Right said, putting away his pixel. "But you know, you should be a little less uptight and a little more downloose…if you know what I mean?"

"I don't."

"Oh." Right replied. "Right."

There was an awkward silence, and a tumbleweed blew by (a square made of four pixels). Then, eventually, a foxy-looking line of two pixels scuttled along the playing board.

"Hey there!" Right said, winking. "Wanna go out for a cup of Java?"

"Hee hee…" giggled the pixel. She had the most beautiful pixel shading you'll ever wish to see.

"Right!" Left barked. "Stop being such a lout! You have to be more chivalrous before a lady!"

"Aw, shut up, Left!" Right said. "You don't know the first thing about the ladies. Like, I drew that ten-pixel portrait the other day! Don't you think that's awesome?"

"No! I don't! I've seen pictures painted in BASIC that looked better than yours!"

"HEY!" Right yelled. "Don't insult my painting! You have NO right to dump on me, fool!"

"Oh yeah! Well, you smell! And you're unattractive!"

"I should say the same about you, Lefty old boy! And how the hell can I smell? What is smell?"

The lady pixel scurried off in a hurry and a tizzy.

"Ah, now look what you've done! Pshaw, you drove a perfectly good girl pixel away! We could have had a happy family of dots together!"

"Right, you dolt." Left said, laughing. "Get your head out of the Recycle Bin! You know, if all you think about is blurred pixels, then one day you'll turn into an "e"!

"An 'e'?" Right exclaimed. "Hey, at least it is comprised of more pixels than I am now! Score!"

"You miss the point, Right!" Left said. "You will be a no good, low-down, good-for-nothing 'e'! That's not a good thing!"

"Well, I resent you trashing on me!"

"Well, I have good right to trash, you, Right!" Left argued.

"You keep talkin' like that and I'll blur _your_ pixels, mister!" Right blurted back.

"You can't even move on a horizontal axis, you moron!"

"Yeah, but…if I could come over there, I would beat every last dot and vector out of you!"

"Hey, look!" Left said. "The dot's back! Time to play!"

The dot had indeed returned, and the game began again. Oh, for shame.


End file.
